Lessons I've Learned in my 20s

 

                  

Draw closer to God

This point can not be overemphasized. I won’t deny the fact that in previous years I actually thought I could do life alone or more like I was running from God. I realized that as much as I felt I could handle things and life generally on my own, I was not getting it right. I would call it a spirit of pride, thinking I did not need God’s direction. This feeling rids us of the blessings attached to knowing God. I got to a breaking point and the realization hit me that in as much as I wanted to seek solace from others, I first needed to seek the face of the Lord and hold on to Him by His words. And trust me the ride and journey has been a sweet process. Most times, what draws us back from actually connecting with God is that we allow the thought of us being sinners to further drag us away from actually drawing close to God. 

 

Romans 6: 14 For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law but under grace.

Romans 6: 18 Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness

 

Trust me, God does not seek perfection from anyone, he just wants submission and full commitment to His words. 

 

 

Friends can be seasonal

I won’t deny the sweet feeling that comes with having friends and people in your corner. It gives us a sense of security. But, I learned that in as much as we want people to call our own. Some people come at particular seasons in our lives and that does not make them bad or evil people. God sometimes brings people into our lives at different times, to teach us lessons at that point in time.

Also, the expectation that it will be a fairytale is far fetched, cause everyone has things going on in their lives, so when next I think of being angry that for example Tola has not reached out to me or Bimbo has abandoned me, I remember that everyone at their 20s is also trying to figure out their lives and I as well I'm doing that. Giving people grace to actually grow in their own journey of life. 

God will surely never leave you alone, he can send people at different stages of your life, to help you.

We should however note that, in moments of feeling lonely or alone, we can speak directly to God, he is literally our best friend. He listens and speaks to us in diverse ways. Understand how God communicates with you and trust me you will never feel alone. 

 

It’s okay to try different things till you find a niche

 

I got to realize that the quote that we all know as “ jack of all trades” was actually not the full phrase. It goes like “a jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one.” 

People will say why are you learning everything, why are you always trying new things. It is absolutely wonderful to try new things, everything we learn or think we are interested in at first might actually entice us at that moment, but down the line, we discover that aspect is not something we’re interested in. It is okay to try new things, discover new things, and learn new things till you find where your heart lies. 

Down the line, the skill you might have really not have been interested in, but learned, might be the part that will lead you to success 10 years down the line. No knowledge is ever a waste. It might be jargon at first, but it would make sense when you get to a certain point in life when it is useful knowledge. And don’t bother about what people will think, instead think of what will make you happy and give you peace. I can say that I have tried different kinds of things in life, and still, I haven’t found my niche, but I’m still open to acquiring knowledge and skills, till I finally find the one that my heart goes for. Examples of things I have done include, opening a clothing brand, selling footwear, making skincare products, opening a store for selling hair products and accessories, trying to learn fashion design, selling Ankara and so much more.

Now I’m a makeup artist and I am still developing technical skills. 

Just be open to learning new things.

 

Love is not meant to be perfect but it’s meant to make you feel peaceful

In as much as we all say we want the right person, it took a self-reflection for me to see that I am not perfect. Therefore expecting whoever I am going to love to be perfect is me being unrealistic. God is the only perfect one. I am also a wrong person….but the lesson I have taken from this is that you should always choose whoever gives you peace. Love isn’t all that relationships need, there’s emotional maturity, there’s spiritual growth, friendship, kindness, a sense of security and so much more.

Choose someone ready to put in the work with you, cause life generally is a process. Love and the journey shouldn’t be perfect, because we all have to learn lessons at different points in life so we can fully value the moments we have and the person we have. Peace of mind should be at the forefront and not a perfect relationship….a peaceful sense of being with whoever you choose to be with. 

 

Life generally is not a bed of roses 

 

I had a very bad mindset. I always wanted life to be perfect. It should follow a particular chain. It should go according to how I want it. That all my plans must come through. It took the realization that life is not perfect for me to know that I cannot always have my way in life. You win some, you lose some, but whatever happens along the way I’m going to take a lesson from it and savor it and try again. Life is beautiful not cause it’s perfect or goes according to how we all want it to be but because even the flaws in life are beautiful and amazing, those are the experiences we look back on and laugh and appreciate, cause it molds us into who we’ve become presently. 

 

It’s okay to love vulnerably 

 

Loving in this day and age takes the grace of God. Cause there’s a notion out there that fully committing and being vulnerable is a big weakness. To be honest love and life are not that deep. Loving wholeheartedly is not a problem. If you love vulnerably and people tell you that you’re the problem, please don’t mind them, cause if we go to the Bible’s definition of love, we will know that love is a whole lot of vulnerability and humility.

Just know at the end of the day, you’ll find the person who would love you more and fully with all that you are about regardless of how you show love.

I honestly have never gone in line with hard guy love, I believe loving our friends, partners, parents, or whoever should be sweet and smooth, even when they do things that make you question the way they act, it still doesn’t matter. Loving someone wholeheartedly, makes you see past all that and just directs your heart to the love you have for them. 




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